Is anybody else experiencing major loathing for the ‘New Facebook’ format?

I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to punch the person responsible in the eye.
(…that was my alter ego speaking. I am not to be blamed for her transgressions. My *psychiatrist said so.)

But seriously. My Facebook profile page loads like double-decker snail on **Quaaludes. And I’m guessing… The folks at Facebook have never heard the old adage: ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’.

Bah. Humbuggers. Stupid Facebook. I didn’t want to play with them anyway.

On a different, equally unpleasant note, my kids are sick and I’m tired. I’ve been trying to list some stuff for sale on eBay and Craigslist, but between Dr.’s appointments and waiting until hell freezes over for prescriptions to be filled at the local pharmacy, I’m not getting much done in that regard. Three measely auctions in three days.

Bah. Humbuggers.

My daughter’s laptop isn’t working. When I turned it on, it issued forth a shrill and excrutiatingly long set of beeps which resulted in a blank screen. I tried to get it to boot in Safe Mode, but once I got in every thing froze. Do you have any idea how annoying it was to see a screen msg that stated: “You’re screwed. Windows is fried along with your keyboard. Whatcha gonna do now, loser? Mwah-hahahahahahahahahaha…”

And then I chose the ‘Recovery’ option to save Windows only to wind up with a flashing cursor on a dos screen that mocked me with a curt ‘BEEP!’ every time I endeavored to touch a key.

Good news: It’s under warranty.
Bad news: After finding out (from my guilt-ridden daughter that she spilled limeade on her keyboard), I’m not so certain the warranty will cover that.

Bah. Humbuggers.

The heating element in my oven is baked. No, literally. A portion of it melted away. So now we have to wait a few days for a replacement to be shipped.

Looks like it’ll be Hamburger Helper for dinner again. Oh. Yum.

I fixed the drum on my dryer (finally) and got it all put back together again. I’d love to say that I jumped up and down for joy, but I didn’t. As soon as I plugged it in and tried to use it, the damn thing over-heated within 30 seconds.

…No, I didn’t put it back together wrong. Thanks for the vote of confidence. As a matter of fact, it needs a new thermostat.

Why do I feel like Eeyore right now?

My favorite GM on RPoL has been super busy lately, too busy to post. I miss her much.

If that sounded Greek to you, just replace the last sentence with a resounding, Bah–Humbuggers. It all works out the same in the end…

How’s your week coming along?

*I don’t really have a psychiatrist. I just play one in my head.
**Quaaludes: That’s ‘downers’ for the drug reference challenged. Not that I know anything personally about that. I got my information from Jeff Spicoli.

Whatever that means.

I know you’ve all been waiting with abated breath, so here is the latest on my noodle quest.

I found some! Someone at last week’s meeting was able to sell me two of them! Now I have enough noodle for two short-swords, one knife, and a great-sword! Woohoo! I have my girl’s tights and my graphite shafts, so now all I need is some tape, a pair of scissors, and a little hands-on instruction to make sure I’m making my swords according to accepted parameters. All of which will come together this weekend.

Also, I’m trying to get my children hooked on it too. The twins are too young to fight yet. …well, you know what I mean. …but they can join as pages so they can learn all about Amtgard and participate in some of the other historical/fantasy crafts.

After them, I’ll entice my wife to join. …and then…

*ahem* Um, er, maybe I’ll just focus on the kids right now.

Historically and Fantastically,
Bob

Christian: Bob, you’re lucky my mom is so nice.

Bob: If she wasn’t, I wouldn’t have married her.

Stacy: Yeah, just you wait. On our 10th anniversary I’m going to turn into a shrew.

Bob: Then I’ll just become deaf and blind.

Perhaps I should explain. Let me begin by saying this is Stacy’s husband, Bob posting today. Stacy does not need a noodle; she is perfectly happy being noodle-less. Wait a minute, I think I’m drifting off the subject.

Back to the point. I need a pool noodle. (Stop sniggering.) You see, I just discovered that Mayberry has its own affiliate Amtgard group! Amtgard is a fantasy/historical re-enactment group. It’s different from the SCA (Society of Creative Anachronism) in that they allow elves and gnomes and such, and they are not nearly as militant about historical accuracy. “No, no, no! The coral stitch wasn’t used in embroidery until June of 1483! You’ll have to undo that entire tapestry and and redo it in a scroll stitch!”

Another difference is that instead of using padded wooden swords in their combats, Amtgard uses the much softer boffers. …which brings me to my point. (I’ll bet you were wondering if there was a point, weren’t you.) Today’s boffers are made out of graphite golf shafts, pool noodles, tape, and girls’ tights. I can get the graphite shafts at my local Goodwill store, I’ve got tape, and don’t ask about the girls’ tights. But it’s September and I CAN’T FIND A FREAKIN’ NOODLE ANYWHERE!!!

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Don’t retailers realize that when a man needs a noodle, he needs a noodle! He shouldn’t have to wait til spring!

I can’t fight without a noodle. [sigh] Maybe one of the other Amtgard members has a noodle I can buy.

I can only hope.

Okay, so I’m not an actual ‘box fan’, otherwise, how would I type? The blades would mar my keyboard and everything would come out looking like jkfjkoads;fjklsa;djfkda;sjfkda;s

…Or something to that effect.

So, yeah.

What I am is a GINORMOUS fan of (my good friend) Christa’s new website: Steampunk Box — The greatest thing since chocolate cake!

Christa’s creative genius never ceases to amaze me. Her latest artistic endeavor (jewelry designs on Steampunk Box) leaves me awestruck; each piece is an exceptional work of art. As I told her, if I could afford it, I’d purchase every single piece!

Bravo! Christa

On a side note: Help! I just used that handy dandy ‘convert categories to tags‘ thingy (in WordPress) and I lost all of my categories. Ack! Anybody know how to ‘undo’ that little bit of stupidity? Or am I doomed to spend an entire day recategorizing every post from the last three years? ( Eh, don’t answer that.)

Bad converter. Bad, bad converter.

My daughter came to me tonight and asked me if I would quiz her on her spelling words, as she has a test tomorrow. The dutiful mom that I am, I agreed.

Wanna play along?

It’s fun.

C’mon. You know you wanna.

Me: Shall I quiz you in order or jump around?
Manda: Whatever you want.
Me: Okay. Spell ‘Peninsula‘
Manda: P-E-N-I-S–
Me: No. Stop. Now listen… Pah-NIN-soo-la.
Manda: Okay. P-E-N-I-S–
Me: No, Dear. That spells penis. Let’s try again…
Manda: *giggles*
Me: *tries really hard not to grin, but fails miserably*
Manda: P-I–
Me: No, no, no. *sigh* I think you’d do better writing the word down on a piece of paper.
Bob: Try this: Pen-in-su-la
Manda: P-E-N-I-N-S-U-L-A
Me: Yay! You got it.
Bob: *mumbles to himself* …You know, I never really made that connection before. …peninsula-penis…
Me: O-kay. Manda, spell ‘panorama‘. Pan-o-ram-a. And if you get this one wrong on the first try, I’m going to beat you over the head.
Manda: *grins* P-A-N-O-R-A-M-A
Me: Yay! No beatings for you.

…Thus ends our lesson for the day.

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