Posted on Thursday 19 June 2008
I’m lovin’ the new digs, but I’m not groovin’ on the management too much at this point. I have been trying to call the landlady for two weeks, and no one ever answers the damn phone. No voicemail, no answering machine. (…does anybody even use those anymore?) So I searched the Internet for different numbers where she can be reached. No one answers those numbers either. But then I remembered that my hubby kept her personal cell phone number when the lady first called us to show us her rentals. (That was a long unpunctuated sentence.)
That number worked. Sort of. I got voicemail! Yay! So I left this message:
Hello Kristen, this is Stacy Anderson. I am calling to inform you that we have bats in our belfry and seriously need them cleared out. They are making a ton of racket at night and my daughter cannot sleep. Please return my call as soon as possible to let me know what will be done about this. …Thank you.
Okay, so that’s not exactly what I said, but it was close. It seems, that before we moved in, someone removed the outdoor cover to the dryer vent. A couple of lovebirds decided to take up residence waaaaaay in the back of the vent tube, placing their nest full of baby birds in the wall directly over the area where the head of my daughter’s bed rests. The racket they make at night and all throughout the early morning hours is horrendously annoying. My poor daughter isn’t getting any sleep, which makes her very, very, very crabby. …more so than usual.
Not only that, but now I have to vent my dryer into the laundry room. It’s a freakin’ sauna in there! And I have to keep the door to the laundry room shut, because it sits directly beside our thermostat. You know what that means, right? Yeah. It’s going to trigger the air-conditioning to run at a near-constant pace, thusly increasing my electric bill beyond its normal, astonishing heights.
Wanna know what else? And might I say, I totally cringe at the mention of this. There are snake holes in my front yard. …several of them. *shudder* I…Am…Deathly…Afraid…Of…Snakes. Don’t even try to tell me that it’s probably just a harmless little ol’ gardener snake. I don’t care. …It still freakin’ slithers!
And there is a big dead bush next to the front door. I am tempted to pull it out of the ground and toss it in the trash, but I’m afraid that the reason it’s dead is because there is a nest of snakes beneath it. …I’m totally freaking out here, right? I mean, really… what are the chances?
*whimper*
Anybody got a mongoose or three to loan out?



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