“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.”
–Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass, Chapter 6

“Memes don’t exist. Tell this to everybody you know.”
–anonymous

Atheism: A non-prophet organization.

When we talk to God it’s called prayer. When
God talks back it’s called schizophrenia.

Redundancy Department of Redundancy

Having a non-smoking section in a restaurant
is like having a non-peeing section in a pool.

“Deep down, I’m pretty superficial.”
– Ava Gardner

Questions:

Do employees at the Lipton company get coffee breaks?

How did man discover that cows give milk?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

How does a blind man know when he’s done wiping his butt?

If 7-11 is open 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport a “terminal”?

If man has evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

What is the speed of dark?

Why do coffins need to be nailed shut?

Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

Alternative Post Title: “Do not speak- unless it improves on silence.” –Buddhist Saying

“Become a Christian, because your god won’t let you off the hook for infidelity. That sounds suspiciously like the whole ‘Darkside and cookie’ recruitment to me.” –Bob Dorannes

Technorati Tags: Buddhist

…Where you tag the words ‘in bed‘ to the end of your fortune?

I think my husband is in for a treat tomorrow.

But me…? Hrm. I’m torn between the ol’ 8-Ball response of “Reply hazy, try again” and “Outlook not so good“.

Stacy’s cookie fortune read: “You will be showered with good luck tomorrow.”
Bob’s cookie fortune read: “Opportunity is knocking on your door, answer it tomorrow.”

So far, so good for the both of us, right? Tomorrow is our lucky day!

But then, we took this interesting little quiz that I happened across on Facebook:

Stacy’s quiz results:

Bob’s quiz results:

Something’s wrong with this picture. :/
…Maybe I should be the one to answer the door.

Heh.

Kidding, Dear.

So. Hey. How’s the New Year treatin’ ya so far?
Have you taken down your Christmas decorations yet?
Eaten all the cookies and fudge?
Is it cold where you live? Snow?
Did anyone buy you a tin of popcorn for Christmas?
Was it your mother?
Does it taste like chocolate coated Fiddle-Faddle?
…Mine does!

Yum!

Wanna know something funny?
Well, it’s funny to me, anyway.

For Christmas:
My mother gave me a bouquet of my favorite flowers.
My mother-in-law gave me a box of fine chocolates.

I think I just fell in love with them both!

I’m watching Survivor: Samoa right now, and I just have to say, ‘Evil Dwarf’ Russell is a total stud. It’s wrong, oh, so wrong to love him. …but I do.

3 hidden immunity Idols found by one man.

That’s impressive.

4. BEEarl (253 points, 5 wins)
5. raistlin (221 points, 2 wins)
6. PandoraWilde (215 points, 3 wins)
7. tulip (211 points, 2 wins)
8. luaren (177 points, 0 wins)
9. ~ Stacy ~ (157 points, 0 wins)
(OMG! I actually made it into the ‘Top Ten’!)
10. fireguy (156 points, 0 wins)

(Note: I’m not always certain which blogger to match to which Trivia ID. So, if your name is listed above and you would like a link to your blog or website, please let me know in comments and I’ll hook you up. Or, if you prefer, you can add your info in the Mr. Linky box below.)

Stacy’s Trivia Challenge: Game Tips

The top factors for improving your points:

• a.) Accuracy
• b.) Speed
• c.) Frequency (Play seven days a week, as opposed to four or five.)
• d.) Current Players (The more people that play, (on any given day), the higher your score will be.)
• e.) Lastly … bone up on your trivia!

If you haven’t played “Stacy’s Trivia Challenge“, what are ya waiting for? C’mon, join the fun. A new game starts on the 1st of each month. …And we love the competition!

Technorati Tags: Stacy’s Trivia Challenge

Have you seen the Oracle Stress-O-Meter (by Lagoon Games) in any of your neighborhood stores? Do you know how this thing works? Seriously. If you know, could you please explain it to me? Because I have to tell ya, they don’t work for me at all. Not a single, solitary one of ‘em.

Not that I really need a machine to tell me whether I’m stressed out or not. I can usually tell by the utter look of fear on my husband’s and children’s faces.

Heh.

But seriously, my kids think that I’m an alien because every time we run across one of these things in a store, I try every single one on the shelf and nothing happens. When I touch the sensors… nothing… Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. As soon as they put their fingers on the thingamajigger’s sensors, it lights up like a Christmas tree. What’s up with that? How come I don’t register even so much as a ‘blip’?

Help me solve this puzzle, would ya?

Either I’m Bruce Willis and I don’t know that I’m dead. Or I truly am an alien.

…Which isn’t really all that far-fetched, I suppose.

Mwah-hahahahahahahahaha…

Technorati Tags: Oracle Stress-O-Meter